Sunday Roast | Volume 3

Argghhhh how embarrassing! I only managed to do the Sunday Roast consecutively for 2 weeks (typical Lotty). I hope you can forgive me because I’m back with an absolute banger this week 💔.

This week’s roast is Louis Vuitton. Now usually I love this brand for its beautifully timeless pieces and plan on treating myself to my first LV bag when I get my next promotion. However, this season = 🤮🤮🤮. I was absolutely shooketh when I checked out their latest drop, oh boy!

Firstly, I’d like to say a huge thank you to the designers of LV for providing me with the best content for this week’s Sunday Monday Roast. Now without further ado, let’s dive in.

So the first item on my list, is this gorgeous inflatable monogram canvas gilet. Yes, you heard me INFLATABLE.

Retailing at a reasonable £2510, this gilet is both stylish and a lifesaver. If you ever happen to board a plane/boat that goes down (touch wood it doesn’t), you can be sure to survive in style! However, if you’re a normal person and £2000+ is way over your budget, then perhaps a DIY with the packaging from your next Amazon delivery could suffice.

Ngl, if I saw someone wearing this on the tube, I’d happily “accidentally” pop it.

Next up, I have no words for this.

The designers at Louis Vuitton clearly need a cuddle as they’ve decided to sew teddy bears all over this bag. TEDDY BEARS. Now, these aren’t cute teddy bears made out of 100% cashmere, these are ones that resemble the free gift you get when you buy a packet of PG Tips.

This bag retails at £9400 and I’m struggling to see who the target audience is with this one. Anyone with a spare £10k for a bag that looks like they made it at arts and crafts class has to be a high earner in their 30s. Now if a man ever approached me with a teddy bear collection, I’d be straight out the door.

Finally, you’d be forgiven for thinking that this was a dressing gown, when in fact it is a coat. A CAMEL HAIR COAT. To think that there are people who will actually wear this outside, yet turn their nose up at others for going midnight shopping in pyjamas actually sends me off 😭.

Retailing at £4500, this “coat” is actually sold out and I can see why. Who wouldn’t want a snake dangling down like a penis and a flamingo breastfeeding on their chest?

Are there any brands or anything else in general that you’d like to be Sunday roasted? Let me know down below, as I thoroughly enjoyed this week!

Sunday Roast | Volume 2

Happy Sunday! I hope this week has been good to you, but with Miss Corona still on the rise, I highly doubt it. This week’s roast is a mixture of some interesting designer items, to say the least…

So, with the chicken roasting in the oven (thanks dad 😍) let’s dive in!

Whilst looking at some items on FarFetch, stop trying to make fetch happen it isn’t going to happen, I stumbled upon these beauties. My first thought was wow, Kim K must be glad she doesn’t have to prance around in this sh*t anymore, pretending it’s ✨fashun✨. My second thought was that if Kanye ever needs some more pennies, then rebranding crocs could be a good way to go.

Retailing at £1264, Kanye’s Foam RNNR “Arat” sneakers are giving me Ratchet from robots vibes. You know, the villain in one of the best kids movies ever?

The futuristic air holes are perfect for people with sweaty feet or those who want to show off their fancy socks for an even slicker vibe. If you have trouble tying laces, then say goodbye to velcro straps as these are slip-ons!

Still browsing FarFetch, this “bag” had me convinced they had started selling french pastries too. Retailing at a reasonable £758, this bag is perfect for those dabbling in French fashun.

Say goodbye to Louis Vuitton, YSL and Chanel because this bag is as French as you possibly could get. Luckily, this bag is made out of leather to avoid any flakiness. This bag is such an inspiration to me because I doubt this little cow could only dream of becoming a croissant when it grew up. See, dreams can come true!

Sticking on the theme of bags, I found some rather interesting ones from Bottega Veneta that made me question the brand’s muse…

This beauty retails at £1605 (right in my price budget!) and I can’t help but see the resemblance of a vagina, bum hole or a lifetime smoker’s lips (vogues of course)…

The last item, and another interesting design from Bottega, is the Leather Loops Clutch, retailing at a very reasonable £3700. Almost two month’s wages! I’d happily not eat for two months in order to buy this beauty that resembles my pubes after a month. ✨Dreamy✨

Made entirely out of lambskin (I think I’d prefer my lambs for Sunday roast or roaming fields tbh), this bag is complete with no inner lining. Perfect for carrying your spillables, or odd lipstick that always seems to lose its lid!

Are there any brands or anything else in general that you’d like to be Sunday roasted? Let me know down below, as I thoroughly enjoyed this week!

Sunday Roast | Series 1

Hello everyone! After a short hiatus and a few breakdowns about the direction of this blog, I’m back! I think we can all agree that 2020 was a sh*t year and had many of us questioning wtf we’re actually doing with our lives.

Anyways, I was recently doing some internet browsing when I came across the ugliest effing shoes I have ever seen in my life. When I thought that Balenciaga couldn’t get any worse, they did. Which is why I have decided to introduce a new weekly series called, ✨ Sunday Roast ✨

In the UK it’s a tradition (or at least it is in my family) to have a roast dinner every Sunday. Which got me thinking, why not make it a new weekly tradition on my blog, as I have a lot to roast about.

Now that that’s out of the way, let’s dive in.

So, Balenciaga is a notorious brand for creating some of the most outrageous and in my opinion, the most hideous fashion pieces the world has ever seen. So when I stumbled across these “sneakers,” I couldn’t help but spit out my caramel latte in disgust. I really don’t think you’re ready for this…

Retailing at a reasonable £895, the High Toe sock sneakers are the perfect staple for your wardrobe! With the huge popularity of their sock sneakers (which I don’t hate too much), the designers at Balenciaga have decided that we’ve been missing a high-heeled sneaker in our collection.

These sneakers are the perfect balance of gym at 7pm, drinks at 9pm. The individual toe placements just scream comfort, whilst the high heels boast all of the right sexy vibes. They also come in a gorgeous shocking pink for my gals who were born to stand out!

For those of us with money, but want to remain discreet about it, the Balenciaga logo is subtly etched onto the sole of the shoe. They are nearly sold out on Net-a-Porter, so if you have FOMO, then I suggest buying these ASAP.

Not into the high-heeled sneaker trend? Then I have just the right pair of sneakers for you!

The Tyrex panelled faux-leather and mesh trainers, retailing at a reasonable £650, are the epitome of stunning.

The square toes give us all the vibes of the witches’ toe-less feet from Roald Dahl’s “The Witches.” This movie used to terrify me as a kid but if you don’t mind being mistaken for a witch, then more power to ya!

Unlike the first pair of “sneakers,” these have more of a discreet heel for my gals and guys who need a little bit of height, whilst remaining trendy. Sadly these sneakers are also nearly sold out and hopefully, they won’t be issuing a re-release anytime soon x

The last pair of shoes from Balenciaga that I’m Sunday roasting are these gorgeous wellies. Living in the UK, you can never be more prepared for the dramatic changes in weather, which is why these trendy wellies are sheer perfection.

Retailing at £695, these shoes are even labelled as “rainboot,” to avoid confusion with any of your other shoes. I don’t know about you, but I think all shoes should be labelled like this as I’m always mistaking my slippers with my sneakers. Absolutely genius!

The one thing that gets me though, is that the toe box comes to a point! Perfect for my gals and guys with extra-long middle toes. Inclusion at it’s finest right here. We love to see it 💖. Sadly, I won’t be able to hop onto this trend but I’m sure they’ll come out with something perfect for my tootsies soon.

Are there any brands or anything else in general that you’d like to be Sunday roasted? Let me know down below, as I thoroughly enjoyed this week!